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Prescott builds bridges

John Prescott this weekend sought to rejuvenate his political career by allowing himself to be photographed playing croquet whilst he should have been running the country in Tony Blair’s absence.

The choice of croquet is a clever one, it says “I’m a man of Blair’s Britain, no longer am I obsessed by class, I can appreciate the finer things in life no matter what the social implications”.

It is expected that later on this week Mr Prescott will lead the Belvoir Hunt in one of its off-season ride outs. Asides have hinted that he will “try to contort his face in order to fit in with the country types”.

The Deputy Prime Minister was unavailable for comment today as he was said to be “whacked on opium, reading Byron and stuffing his fat face with frois gras bought with the blood of the poor.”