Friday, December 23, 2005
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Christmas Special - Labour Pains
Do not adjust your sets. For the third week running, the political polls are showing a Conservative lead over Labour.
The latest, an ICM for the Guardian, published today shows a one percentage point lead for Cameron over Blair increasing to a five percentage point lead should Glum Gord take over the reigns from Phoney Tony.
Image from ConservativeHome
PolicyBlender suggest that the legacy Blair has been looking for may be to sabotage Gordon's leadership hopes in order to save the Labour party from itself. It's looking increasingly likely that, one way or another, Gordon Brown will not be the next Prime Minster.
But who could take over? With all the talk now on a LibDem leadership change here's our Christmas Special run down on the "Anybody but Gordon" game currently being played at Number Ten.
1. Alistair Darling
We see Darling as pole position for the job. He's widely respected as a safe pair of hands, demonstrated by not making a complete hash of Transport like his predecessors, and he's been deliberately kept out of trouble for the last couple of years.
As MP for Edinburgh Central, he's a member of the "Scottish Raj", and would attract criticism concerning the West Lothian Question, but with Politicking skill that sees him as a key ally to both Brown and Blair, the eyebrowed one is well placed to do a Brutus come coronation day.
PolicyBlender verdict: Our money would be on Darling if we were betting types.
2. Hilary Benn
Cards on the table, we don't think Hilary's got a chance. But he's in the frame because he may be pushed through as an interim 'uniting PM'. He's in tune with the Blairite modernising agenda but he's got old school left wing pedigree that may keep him out of trouble with the more militant lefties who still respect his father.
PolicyBlender verdict: But putting it simply, Hilary is a nice bloke, but he's just not up to it.
3. David Miliband
David 'the Unready' is our second tip for the top job. He's the sharpest brain in the Cabinet by a country mile and worked in Blair's policy unit when he was leader of the opposition.
At only 40 with his first child born last summer, and being a thoroughly nice bloke, Miliband can combat Cameron on several fronts. He'd also be seen as a uniting factor as the son of an eminent Marxist historian and brother of Ed, the MP for Doncaster North and former special adviser to Gordon Brown.
PolicyBlender verdict: If Miliband isn't the next PM, he'll be the next Chancellor.
4. Patricia Hewitt
With a reputation for being a nasty piece of work and a background in spin Hewitt is New Labour through and through.
Entering Parliament in 1997 as one of the "Blair Babes", Hewitt had declined the opportunity to stand for a safe seat in 1992 to spend time with her young family. Now though, we think she's going to aim for the top.
PolicyBlender verdict: May find out how few friends she actually has if she makes a bid for the leadership.
5. David Blunkett
Controversial, blunt, humorous, and hard edged. Blunkett would represent a departure from the norm for modern Labour leaders.
The fact he's had more than the usual run of second chances, even for the court of Blair, indicates that a Blunkers bid may have covert backing from deep inside Number Ten.
If there's a dark horse in the running in the "Anybody but Brown" race, then it's the Sheffield Stallion. There's also no love lost between the former Home Secretary and Gordon Brown.
PolicyBlender verdict: Blood will be spilt if Blunkett decides he wants to go for it. Whether anybody's left standing at the end of it is another matter.
6. Peter Hain
In a front bench team currently stocked full of losers and weirdos, bar the above, Hain stands out purely for being the best of the bad bunch.
His one remarkable characteristic is his unbelievable huge ego. Hain's view of himself eclipses all rational critical assessments. It's rumoured that he honestly believes that he was shipped off to Northern Ireland in order to keep him out of the fray of domestic politics. He was, but not for the reason he thinks.
Having dug up a cricket pitch before a test match against South Africa and marched for a united Ireland alongside Gerry Adams and the rest of the IRA in his youth, Hain clearly has old school Labour kudos. What he doesn't have is a clue.
PolicyBlender verdict: Complete no hoper.
7. John Reid
Make no mistake, John Reid is a bastard. What will act in his favour is that Number Ten see him as "their bastard". Famously labelled "Labour's attack dog" by Paxman, his more proper title would be "Blair's attack dog".
The question is: can the henchman turn kingpin?
With his years in the Communist Party as a sop to the lefties in the party that might feel aggrieved with his affiliation with Blairism, A Reid bid could really pick up momentum if Labour decides that they don't want to try to out-Cameron Cameron.
PolicyBlender verdict: If Big John steps into the ring, the gloves will come off.
7. Sadiq Khan
Every list needs a wild card. Khan is ours. As part of the 2005 intake he may be considered to be too wet behind the ears, but that may work to his advantage. Though untainted by the Iraq war - he won Tooting on an anti war platform - he still exhibits strong-man authoritarian tendencies, supporting both the anti terror measures and ID cards.
The winner of the Spectator's prestigious 'Newcomer of the Year Award', Kahn has the best voting record in Parliament - attending 97% of all votes.
PolicyBlender verdict: One to watch, but perhaps not this time.
The latest, an ICM for the Guardian, published today shows a one percentage point lead for Cameron over Blair increasing to a five percentage point lead should Glum Gord take over the reigns from Phoney Tony.
Image from ConservativeHome
PolicyBlender suggest that the legacy Blair has been looking for may be to sabotage Gordon's leadership hopes in order to save the Labour party from itself. It's looking increasingly likely that, one way or another, Gordon Brown will not be the next Prime Minster.
But who could take over? With all the talk now on a LibDem leadership change here's our Christmas Special run down on the "Anybody but Gordon" game currently being played at Number Ten.
1. Alistair Darling
We see Darling as pole position for the job. He's widely respected as a safe pair of hands, demonstrated by not making a complete hash of Transport like his predecessors, and he's been deliberately kept out of trouble for the last couple of years.
As MP for Edinburgh Central, he's a member of the "Scottish Raj", and would attract criticism concerning the West Lothian Question, but with Politicking skill that sees him as a key ally to both Brown and Blair, the eyebrowed one is well placed to do a Brutus come coronation day.
PolicyBlender verdict: Our money would be on Darling if we were betting types.
2. Hilary Benn
Cards on the table, we don't think Hilary's got a chance. But he's in the frame because he may be pushed through as an interim 'uniting PM'. He's in tune with the Blairite modernising agenda but he's got old school left wing pedigree that may keep him out of trouble with the more militant lefties who still respect his father.
PolicyBlender verdict: But putting it simply, Hilary is a nice bloke, but he's just not up to it.
3. David Miliband
David 'the Unready' is our second tip for the top job. He's the sharpest brain in the Cabinet by a country mile and worked in Blair's policy unit when he was leader of the opposition.
At only 40 with his first child born last summer, and being a thoroughly nice bloke, Miliband can combat Cameron on several fronts. He'd also be seen as a uniting factor as the son of an eminent Marxist historian and brother of Ed, the MP for Doncaster North and former special adviser to Gordon Brown.
PolicyBlender verdict: If Miliband isn't the next PM, he'll be the next Chancellor.
4. Patricia Hewitt
With a reputation for being a nasty piece of work and a background in spin Hewitt is New Labour through and through.
Entering Parliament in 1997 as one of the "Blair Babes", Hewitt had declined the opportunity to stand for a safe seat in 1992 to spend time with her young family. Now though, we think she's going to aim for the top.
PolicyBlender verdict: May find out how few friends she actually has if she makes a bid for the leadership.
5. David Blunkett
Controversial, blunt, humorous, and hard edged. Blunkett would represent a departure from the norm for modern Labour leaders.
The fact he's had more than the usual run of second chances, even for the court of Blair, indicates that a Blunkers bid may have covert backing from deep inside Number Ten.
If there's a dark horse in the running in the "Anybody but Brown" race, then it's the Sheffield Stallion. There's also no love lost between the former Home Secretary and Gordon Brown.
PolicyBlender verdict: Blood will be spilt if Blunkett decides he wants to go for it. Whether anybody's left standing at the end of it is another matter.
6. Peter Hain
In a front bench team currently stocked full of losers and weirdos, bar the above, Hain stands out purely for being the best of the bad bunch.
His one remarkable characteristic is his unbelievable huge ego. Hain's view of himself eclipses all rational critical assessments. It's rumoured that he honestly believes that he was shipped off to Northern Ireland in order to keep him out of the fray of domestic politics. He was, but not for the reason he thinks.
Having dug up a cricket pitch before a test match against South Africa and marched for a united Ireland alongside Gerry Adams and the rest of the IRA in his youth, Hain clearly has old school Labour kudos. What he doesn't have is a clue.
PolicyBlender verdict: Complete no hoper.
7. John Reid
Make no mistake, John Reid is a bastard. What will act in his favour is that Number Ten see him as "their bastard". Famously labelled "Labour's attack dog" by Paxman, his more proper title would be "Blair's attack dog".
The question is: can the henchman turn kingpin?
With his years in the Communist Party as a sop to the lefties in the party that might feel aggrieved with his affiliation with Blairism, A Reid bid could really pick up momentum if Labour decides that they don't want to try to out-Cameron Cameron.
PolicyBlender verdict: If Big John steps into the ring, the gloves will come off.
7. Sadiq Khan
Every list needs a wild card. Khan is ours. As part of the 2005 intake he may be considered to be too wet behind the ears, but that may work to his advantage. Though untainted by the Iraq war - he won Tooting on an anti war platform - he still exhibits strong-man authoritarian tendencies, supporting both the anti terror measures and ID cards.
The winner of the Spectator's prestigious 'Newcomer of the Year Award', Kahn has the best voting record in Parliament - attending 97% of all votes.
PolicyBlender verdict: One to watch, but perhaps not this time.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Anniversary of Blunkett quitting
Down boy!: Blunkett at Annabel's
You wouldn't think that it's a year today since David Blunkett's ministerial career came to an end. That's because it isn't.
It is, however, a year to the day since David Blunkett was forced to resign as Home Secretary amid allegations that he fast-tracked a visa for his lover's nanny.
However, this is a gravy train that stops and picks people up again if they fall off. Good luck to David in his next high-flying political career. If today's effort in his Sun column, where he 'humorously' writes as if his dog is doing the talking, is anything to go by, he won't be winning any literary prizes:
"Last week, my 'master' told you how I rolled in fox dung and the poor chap had to bathe me with six buckets of soapy water. Frankly I prefer the smell of old Reynard to Fairy Liquid any day. So I'll tell my own tails - oops! tales - from now on. This week the bearded one took me for another Sunday walk"
Bring back Littlejohn!
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Kennedy: never going to be assassinated
Charles Kennedy is not as interesting as the other political Kennedys, a new PolicyBlender survey suggests.
The charismatic Kennedys: (from left) dead, dead, moonbat
John Fitzgerald Kennedy (1917–1963) was a U.S. representative, a U.S. senator and later a president with a hole in his head.
Robert Francis Kennedy (1925–1968) was U.S. attorney general in his brother's administration, later served as senator from New York, and was assassinated while running for president in 1968.
Edward Moore Kennedy (born 1932) known as "Teddy," has served as a senator from Massachusetts since 1962. In 1968 he drove a car off a bridge whilst pissed, killing the passenger. He "forgot" to tell the police, but remembered to phone his lawyer.
Charles Peter Kennedy (born 1959) is a ginger Liberal Democrat.
The charismatic Kennedys: (from left) dead, dead, moonbat
John Fitzgerald Kennedy (1917–1963) was a U.S. representative, a U.S. senator and later a president with a hole in his head.
Robert Francis Kennedy (1925–1968) was U.S. attorney general in his brother's administration, later served as senator from New York, and was assassinated while running for president in 1968.
Edward Moore Kennedy (born 1932) known as "Teddy," has served as a senator from Massachusetts since 1962. In 1968 he drove a car off a bridge whilst pissed, killing the passenger. He "forgot" to tell the police, but remembered to phone his lawyer.
Charles Peter Kennedy (born 1959) is a ginger Liberal Democrat.
Borat site removed from .kz extension
The Kazakhstan government have now pulled the plug on www.borat.kz.
"We've done this so he can't badmouth Kazakhstan under the .kz domain name," Nurlan Isin, President of the Association of Kazakh IT Companies, told Reuters. "He can go and do whatever he wants at other domains."
We'll tell you more as the story develops.
"We've done this so he can't badmouth Kazakhstan under the .kz domain name," Nurlan Isin, President of the Association of Kazakh IT Companies, told Reuters. "He can go and do whatever he wants at other domains."
We'll tell you more as the story develops.
No, they're all hiding, all 9 million of them!
Sometimes world politics gives me a headache. The Iranian President is 'denying the holocaust', as it is popularly known. To my mind, denying the holocaust strikes me as a term you'd use to describe someone saying 'I didn't do it', so I'm happy to deny the holocaust, but I'm pretty sure it happened, and it was in the top 5 unpleasant events of any kind in recent history.
Eariler in the year, everyone was concerned that the US was going to attack Iran. Then they didn't, many said, because they were overstretched with resources in the hurricane stricken South, and Iraq. Then Iran entered into nice, friendly discussions about nuclear power. Then more recently the US starts talking about freeing up some of its resources in Iraq. Then Iran ignored its promises about nuclear power, and then the Iranian President is all over the news, telling Europe's governments that the Jewish state should be stuck in Europe rather than on his back door, and that 9 million Jews didn't die in the 40s at the hands of the Nazis. So, is the media pushing this to the fore to provoke, is the US in league with the Middle Eastern Governments to make the whole world democratic, or is the President of Iran a genuine suicidal nutcase?
Watch this space for more news on the annihilation of Iran, and the installation of a friendly, democratic government, who treat the people well and sell oil at reasonable prices.
Eariler in the year, everyone was concerned that the US was going to attack Iran. Then they didn't, many said, because they were overstretched with resources in the hurricane stricken South, and Iraq. Then Iran entered into nice, friendly discussions about nuclear power. Then more recently the US starts talking about freeing up some of its resources in Iraq. Then Iran ignored its promises about nuclear power, and then the Iranian President is all over the news, telling Europe's governments that the Jewish state should be stuck in Europe rather than on his back door, and that 9 million Jews didn't die in the 40s at the hands of the Nazis. So, is the media pushing this to the fore to provoke, is the US in league with the Middle Eastern Governments to make the whole world democratic, or is the President of Iran a genuine suicidal nutcase?
Watch this space for more news on the annihilation of Iran, and the installation of a friendly, democratic government, who treat the people well and sell oil at reasonable prices.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Newsflash! Man starts argument about use of oil as fuel!
We really need to have a think about whether mineral oils are a good idea.
The cracks of doom, Hertfordshire
We have the technology to run cars on chip fat just as well as on diesel - the diesel engine is getting quieter, more economical, giving better performance and lower emissions, even with diesel. If you use vegetable oils in a diesel engine, you'll slash that to a tenth of what are already impressive levels. Unlike petrol, diesel can be used in much larger vehicles such as lorries, trains, ships, you name it. Vegetable oil could be employed in much the same way. And, in fifty years time, when an explosion like yesterday's incident happens at a rapeseed oil depot in Kidderminster, the fumes won't force asthma sufferers to emigrate.
The cracks of doom, Hertfordshire
We have the technology to run cars on chip fat just as well as on diesel - the diesel engine is getting quieter, more economical, giving better performance and lower emissions, even with diesel. If you use vegetable oils in a diesel engine, you'll slash that to a tenth of what are already impressive levels. Unlike petrol, diesel can be used in much larger vehicles such as lorries, trains, ships, you name it. Vegetable oil could be employed in much the same way. And, in fifty years time, when an explosion like yesterday's incident happens at a rapeseed oil depot in Kidderminster, the fumes won't force asthma sufferers to emigrate.
Friday, December 09, 2005
NICE gets nasty
The National Institute for Clinical Excellence (NICE) has landed in reality with a bump.
In a report leaked today it proposes that people who are grossly overweight or who smoke heavily or drink excessively could be denied surgery or drugs.
Sadly these recommendations will fall on deaf ears. New Labour persists in promoting people who fail to take responsibility for their own actions as 'victims of choice'.
This is to disguise their massive erosions of our civil liberties as 'compassion' rather than the controlling inclinations of a corrupt group of statists who seek to suppress society rather than enable it.
It's sad that after two world wars and a global struggle with Communism we're more likely to see a curtailment of the liberties of the masses rather than the consequences of personal responsibility laid bare to the few.
In a report leaked today it proposes that people who are grossly overweight or who smoke heavily or drink excessively could be denied surgery or drugs.
Sadly these recommendations will fall on deaf ears. New Labour persists in promoting people who fail to take responsibility for their own actions as 'victims of choice'.
This is to disguise their massive erosions of our civil liberties as 'compassion' rather than the controlling inclinations of a corrupt group of statists who seek to suppress society rather than enable it.
It's sad that after two world wars and a global struggle with Communism we're more likely to see a curtailment of the liberties of the masses rather than the consequences of personal responsibility laid bare to the few.
Routemaster takes final journey
I'm very sad. My old bus route, the 159, is no longer a routemaster route. Today marks the last journey of the Routemaster as a proper bus. No longer will the passenger left at the stop be able to run to the traffic lights and get the better of the bloody-minded bus drivers. No more seats facing each other, full of three fat people on one side and four thin people on the other. No more ignoring the conductor, pretending you've already paid. No more little piece of string all the way up the bus that goes 'ding'.
Routemaster: There won't be another one along in a minute
Routemaster: There won't be another one along in a minute
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Hague returns
License fee
I had an email today. Part of it said this:
Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet of Crisps
Return of the youth-orientated sitcom for its sixth series. Companies interested in placing new products, clothes, leisure products should contact Sarah on 0200-874-.
8 x 30 mins.
While Ben talks often about ads on the BBC, I was disappointed to see that it's so blatant.
Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet of Crisps
Return of the youth-orientated sitcom for its sixth series. Companies interested in placing new products, clothes, leisure products should contact Sarah on 0200-874-.
8 x 30 mins.
While Ben talks often about ads on the BBC, I was disappointed to see that it's so blatant.
Brown to "do a Saddam"
A top secret memo leaked to PolicyBlender by one of our deep cover agents within the government has revealed that Gordon Brown is taking an active interest in the trial of Saddam Hussein.
Hussein, who is now boycotting his own trial, stated yesterday "I will not return; I will not come to an unjust court! Go to hell!"
The documents we have received indicate that should the strategy prove successful, Gordon Brown will boycott the next election issuing the following statement: "you sons of whores; it is you who have ravaged my faithful wife Prudence, her downfall is your doing, infidel pig-dogs, you sully the good name of golden rules and economic cycles. Without you there would be economic order!"
Hussein, who is now boycotting his own trial, stated yesterday "I will not return; I will not come to an unjust court! Go to hell!"
The documents we have received indicate that should the strategy prove successful, Gordon Brown will boycott the next election issuing the following statement: "you sons of whores; it is you who have ravaged my faithful wife Prudence, her downfall is your doing, infidel pig-dogs, you sully the good name of golden rules and economic cycles. Without you there would be economic order!"
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Hogwarts boy wins public schools' competition
Harry Pothead of Gryffindor House has won the Tripe-wizard Tournament, this year held at Hogwarts.
Pothead receives the prestigious trophy, the Goblet of Fire, colloquially known as the 'Poisoned Chalice'.
Pothead: "delighted"
Allegations of gillyweed and potions use did not unsettle the composed Pothead, who at 39 was by far the youngest entrant in the competition.
In a stunning all round performance, including out-manoeuvring a fat old European dragon; rescuing drowning MEPs from the clutches of Meurocrats and successfully navigating a maze of liberal social policies, young Pothead pulled off a convincing performance.
Pothead receives the prestigious trophy, the Goblet of Fire, colloquially known as the 'Poisoned Chalice'.
Pothead: "delighted"
Allegations of gillyweed and potions use did not unsettle the composed Pothead, who at 39 was by far the youngest entrant in the competition.
In a stunning all round performance, including out-manoeuvring a fat old European dragon; rescuing drowning MEPs from the clutches of Meurocrats and successfully navigating a maze of liberal social policies, young Pothead pulled off a convincing performance.
Shock news: another candidate in the Conservative Party leadership race!
The political world was rocked today when it emerged that another candidate has been secretly competing against David Cameron in the Conservative party leadership race.
David Davis, who cheekily shares the same first name as the leadership favourite, has apparently been covertly campaigning for the leadership for a number of weeks.
Iain Dale, Davis' campaign manager has now returned to blogging, and generally everyone is friends again. On his site he provides a few insights into conversations in the Davis camp:
Andrew Mitchell MP: So why exactly does Cameron have more supporters on his website than we have on ours?
William Norton (campaign team): Because he's got more supporters, Andrew.
At the London hustings...
William Norton: Would you like a Davis leaflet, sir?
Tobias Ellwood MP: Er, no I'm an MP and I'm a declared Cameron supporter
William Norton: Don't worry, there aren't any long words in it
David Davis, who cheekily shares the same first name as the leadership favourite, has apparently been covertly campaigning for the leadership for a number of weeks.
Iain Dale, Davis' campaign manager has now returned to blogging, and generally everyone is friends again. On his site he provides a few insights into conversations in the Davis camp:
Andrew Mitchell MP: So why exactly does Cameron have more supporters on his website than we have on ours?
William Norton (campaign team): Because he's got more supporters, Andrew.
At the London hustings...
William Norton: Would you like a Davis leaflet, sir?
Tobias Ellwood MP: Er, no I'm an MP and I'm a declared Cameron supporter
William Norton: Don't worry, there aren't any long words in it
Opinion: Civil partnerships are as daft as marriages
I'm fed up of hearing about the issue of gay rights.
Civil partnerships are, in my mind, completely the wrong way to go. At the moment, we give a tax break to married couples - why? This might be an oversimplification, but marriage, religious implications aside, is about providing a guarantee of stability in a relationship, so the couple can have children without worrying about their future. Obviously it doesn't always work, but where it doesn't, the party that ends up without the financial burden of children has to make payments to the party that keeps them.
Why are we giving a tax break to people for making children? Children are a drain on the education resources, on health resources, they get a host of benefits at the tax-payers expense. Childless taxpayers are being fleeced, while those with children are getting their tax back and more, while the childless subsidise their children's education. No-one has to have children, modern medicine can give us a choice (religious implications aside). Why should those who choose not to have kids foot the bill for those that do?
If we're going to create equal rights for homosexual and heterosexual couples, lets make sure everyone gets taxed as individuals. If breadwinners want to share the tax burden with homemakers, they can pay them a salary from their own income, and work the tax out as two people sharing the gross salary.
Quite aside from which, the government is moving to outlaw friends from entering into a civil partnership (Chris - do you and Rob fancy getting married). If it's not a religious thing, what difference does it make to taxation if two people are sharing a bed?
Marriage makes sense within the confines of a religion, as long as the religion itself makes sense to you. Why should it have to have the dual purpose of affecting your tax status?
Civil partnerships are, in my mind, completely the wrong way to go. At the moment, we give a tax break to married couples - why? This might be an oversimplification, but marriage, religious implications aside, is about providing a guarantee of stability in a relationship, so the couple can have children without worrying about their future. Obviously it doesn't always work, but where it doesn't, the party that ends up without the financial burden of children has to make payments to the party that keeps them.
Why are we giving a tax break to people for making children? Children are a drain on the education resources, on health resources, they get a host of benefits at the tax-payers expense. Childless taxpayers are being fleeced, while those with children are getting their tax back and more, while the childless subsidise their children's education. No-one has to have children, modern medicine can give us a choice (religious implications aside). Why should those who choose not to have kids foot the bill for those that do?
If we're going to create equal rights for homosexual and heterosexual couples, lets make sure everyone gets taxed as individuals. If breadwinners want to share the tax burden with homemakers, they can pay them a salary from their own income, and work the tax out as two people sharing the gross salary.
Quite aside from which, the government is moving to outlaw friends from entering into a civil partnership (Chris - do you and Rob fancy getting married). If it's not a religious thing, what difference does it make to taxation if two people are sharing a bed?
Marriage makes sense within the confines of a religion, as long as the religion itself makes sense to you. Why should it have to have the dual purpose of affecting your tax status?
David Cameron ready to put the Conservative Party back in touch with the people
This afternoon it's almost certain that David Cameron will be elected leader of the Conservative Party. Cameron, the son of a stockbroker and grandson of Sir William Mount, 2nd Baronet, is the descendent of descended from the 7th Earl of Denbigh, the 1st Earl of Ducie, the 1st Earl of Carnarvon, the 2nd Earl of Egremont, the 6th Duke of Somerset and the 2nd Earl of Shrewsbury. He was educated at Eton and Brasenose College, Oxford. He spent almost seven years at Carlton Communication plc, one of the UK's leading media companies, where he was Director of Corporate Affairs and served on the Executive Board. His wife is a direct descendent of King Charles II. They have homes in West Oxfordshire, according to the Conservative Party biography, but it doesn't specify how many.
It is hoped that David Cameron will bring with him the understanding of ordinary people that is required to make the Conservative Party a political force in this country again.
It is hoped that David Cameron will bring with him the understanding of ordinary people that is required to make the Conservative Party a political force in this country again.
Vote heralds new future for Conservative Party
This week saw the most important vote for a decade for the Conservative Party, as Carol Thatcher won 'I'm a celebrity, get me out of here'. Thatcher, daughter of Britain's first female Prime Minister, cost the bookmakers £250,000 yesterday.
Me Tarzan, you Carol
In other news, someone called David will be announced today as the leader of the Conservative Party for its next election defeat.
Me Tarzan, you Carol
In other news, someone called David will be announced today as the leader of the Conservative Party for its next election defeat.
Monday, December 05, 2005
The Pre-Budget Report
"Though prudent investment at key points in the economic cycle I will create a dynamic 21st century economy that represents our communities' needs and aspirations and removes us from the legacy of Tory cuts, mismanagement and boom and bust economics."
Photo hat-tip Guido
We're having a sweepstake in the office on Gordon's favourite phrases for his speech today. Bonus points are also available for excuses as to how he managed to be so far out in his growth predictions. So far we've got the blame lying with Civil Servants, OPEC and the Iraq War (subtle hint at Tony).
Any other excuses as to why Gordo got his sums so wrong welcome in the comments…
Photo hat-tip Guido
We're having a sweepstake in the office on Gordon's favourite phrases for his speech today. Bonus points are also available for excuses as to how he managed to be so far out in his growth predictions. So far we've got the blame lying with Civil Servants, OPEC and the Iraq War (subtle hint at Tony).
Any other excuses as to why Gordo got his sums so wrong welcome in the comments…
Borat re-elected with 91% of vote!
The Kazakhstan election has gone without a hitch, and the President returned with an overwhelming majority - early indications suggest 91% of the vote. Naturally the opposition parties have complained of irregularities:
"The balloting was completely out of control … and quite obviously, the results of the vote were distorted significantly," said Lyudmila Zhulanova, deputy campaign manager for Ak Zhol party candidate Alikhan Baimenov. Two other candidates, Communist Party leader Yerasyl Abilkasymov and environmentalist Mels Yeleusizov, also ran for president.
Opposition leaders said they would comply with a law prohibiting public demonstrations within the 10-day window the government has to release final election returns, and would use that time to file challenges in the courts. If that is not successful, Zhulanova said, "we will find another way to express our indignation."
In other news, our Kazakhstan correspondant has made a deal with several European holiday destinations to stay away, as riot-free resorts tend to do better business.
"The balloting was completely out of control … and quite obviously, the results of the vote were distorted significantly," said Lyudmila Zhulanova, deputy campaign manager for Ak Zhol party candidate Alikhan Baimenov. Two other candidates, Communist Party leader Yerasyl Abilkasymov and environmentalist Mels Yeleusizov, also ran for president.
Opposition leaders said they would comply with a law prohibiting public demonstrations within the 10-day window the government has to release final election returns, and would use that time to file challenges in the courts. If that is not successful, Zhulanova said, "we will find another way to express our indignation."
In other news, our Kazakhstan correspondant has made a deal with several European holiday destinations to stay away, as riot-free resorts tend to do better business.
Friday, December 02, 2005
More Kazakh news
Channel 4's 'Space Cadets' program, to begin next Wednesday, currently has a group of people in a training camp in Kazakhstan, ready to launch them into space, or so they think. In truth, they'll be taken to an aircraft hanger (not an 'airy hanger', Johnny Vaughan, you moron) in Suffolk, which will be made up to look like a space station. They will then be kept on camera, Big Brother style, making fools of themselves for a week and a half, believing that they are in a low altitude orbit (which is why the gravity still works). Well, you can't get much lower than Suffolk.
I was disappointed to discover that the contestants are all from Britain. When it was first mentioned on Channel 4, I assumed it was part of the channel's continuing vendetta against the Central Asian country. The possibility that the current Kazakh election will involve riots, which will overthrow the training camp, replacing all of the inmates with Kazakhs, who are made fools of on UK national TV, resulting in war between the UK and Kazakhstan, cannot be ruled out any more than the idea that Sasha Baron Cohen is working for Uzbekistan's secret service.
Suffolk: The final frontier.
I was disappointed to discover that the contestants are all from Britain. When it was first mentioned on Channel 4, I assumed it was part of the channel's continuing vendetta against the Central Asian country. The possibility that the current Kazakh election will involve riots, which will overthrow the training camp, replacing all of the inmates with Kazakhs, who are made fools of on UK national TV, resulting in war between the UK and Kazakhstan, cannot be ruled out any more than the idea that Sasha Baron Cohen is working for Uzbekistan's secret service.
Suffolk: The final frontier.
Mr Blair negotiates successfully on the Continent
Mr Blair, the Prime Minister and First Lord of the Treasury, returned from the Continent by aeroplane today having successfully negotiated an agreement that will permit Her Majesty to retain her rebate of European Union budgetary contributions.
Mr Blair following his diplomatic victory
Speaking shortly after his aeroplane arrived safely back onto British soil, Mr Blair said:
"My good friends, for the second time in our history, a British Prime Minister has returned from Europe bringing a rebate with honour. I believe it is a rebate for our time."
In other news, M. Chirac, President of the Fifth French Republic, has been accused of making photographic representations of his posterior and presenting them to visiting foreign leaders using a confidence trick to pass them off as deals on European Union budgetary agreements.
Mr Blair following his diplomatic victory
Speaking shortly after his aeroplane arrived safely back onto British soil, Mr Blair said:
"My good friends, for the second time in our history, a British Prime Minister has returned from Europe bringing a rebate with honour. I believe it is a rebate for our time."
In other news, M. Chirac, President of the Fifth French Republic, has been accused of making photographic representations of his posterior and presenting them to visiting foreign leaders using a confidence trick to pass them off as deals on European Union budgetary agreements.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Taki to take over at the Spectator?
He may have finally lost it, but we can only hope that this is true and that the white-haired-one will be replaced by the white-nosed-one…
"The powers that be have told me that I shall be named editor of The Spectator if Boris becomes a front bencher and resigns. This is only fair. I’ve been waiting for the top job for 28 years, seven proprietors and five editors. My first act will be to move Mary Wakefield’s desk next to mine, lock the door, and exercise my droit de seigneur. The next act will be to fire myself having exercised my rights. Well worth waiting for."
Current gossip puts Simon Heffer, the chap who authored the leader on Scoucers that got Boris in trouble, in the lead, closely followed by Matthew D'Ancona from the Daily Telegraph. Expect the Sexator to go from strength to strength under the stewardship of a coke head Greek billionaire womaniser though…
"The powers that be have told me that I shall be named editor of The Spectator if Boris becomes a front bencher and resigns. This is only fair. I’ve been waiting for the top job for 28 years, seven proprietors and five editors. My first act will be to move Mary Wakefield’s desk next to mine, lock the door, and exercise my droit de seigneur. The next act will be to fire myself having exercised my rights. Well worth waiting for."
Current gossip puts Simon Heffer, the chap who authored the leader on Scoucers that got Boris in trouble, in the lead, closely followed by Matthew D'Ancona from the Daily Telegraph. Expect the Sexator to go from strength to strength under the stewardship of a coke head Greek billionaire womaniser though…
Borat and the Wrath of the Kazakhs
It's Kazakh season here on PolicyBlender. Comedian Sasha Baron Cohen has enraged the Kazakhstan authorities with his character Borat Sagdiyev, the Kazakh reporter who presented the recent MTV Europe Music Awards accompanied by a by a drunken, one-eyed Kazakh pilot:
"We do not rule out that Mr. Cohen is serving someone's political order designed to present Kazakhstan and its people in a derogatory way. We reserve the right to any legal action to prevent new pranks of the kind. We view Mr. Cohen's behaviour at the MTV Europe Music Awards as utterly unacceptable, being a concoction of bad taste and ill manners which is completely incompatible with ethics and civilized behaviour."
-Yerzhan Ashykbayev, Kazakh Foreign Ministry Spokesman
Borat (right)
At the MTV Awards Borat greeted the audience by saying: "Welcome to the 2005 Eurovision Song Contest!" And, referring to Madonna, he said: "It was very courageous of MTV to start the show with a genuine transvestite." He signed off with the message "To the world, I love you, apart from Uzbekistan, assholes."
Borat has recently upset the authorities in Kazakhstan with his claims that Gypsies and dogs are hunted for fun and his penning of the popular folk song, “Throw the Jew Down the Well.”.
Borat Sagdiyev: Kazakhstan's sixth most famous man
Borat has issued a response to the proposed legal action, welcoming the Kazak Governments attempts to sue Sasha Baron Cohen:
"I like to state I have no connection with Mr. Cohen and fully support my government's decision to sue this Jew.
"Since the 2003 reforms, Kazakhstan is as civilized as any other country in the world. Women can now travel on inside of bus, homosexuals no longer have to wear blue hats and age of consent has been raised to 8 years old.
"Please, I invite you to come to Kazakhstan, where we have incredible natural resources, hard-working labor and some of the cleanest prostitutes in all of central Asia. Goodbye."
On Monday, the Kazakhstan government, who don't appear to be seeing the funny side, published a four-page advertising section in The New York Times. The section, titled, "Kazakhstan in the 21st Century," carried testimonials to its oil production, its democracy, education system, and purported "power and influence" of women.
A feature length film, “Borat: The Movie,” is currently in production.
"We do not rule out that Mr. Cohen is serving someone's political order designed to present Kazakhstan and its people in a derogatory way. We reserve the right to any legal action to prevent new pranks of the kind. We view Mr. Cohen's behaviour at the MTV Europe Music Awards as utterly unacceptable, being a concoction of bad taste and ill manners which is completely incompatible with ethics and civilized behaviour."
-Yerzhan Ashykbayev, Kazakh Foreign Ministry Spokesman
Borat (right)
At the MTV Awards Borat greeted the audience by saying: "Welcome to the 2005 Eurovision Song Contest!" And, referring to Madonna, he said: "It was very courageous of MTV to start the show with a genuine transvestite." He signed off with the message "To the world, I love you, apart from Uzbekistan, assholes."
Borat has recently upset the authorities in Kazakhstan with his claims that Gypsies and dogs are hunted for fun and his penning of the popular folk song, “Throw the Jew Down the Well.”.
Borat Sagdiyev: Kazakhstan's sixth most famous man
Borat has issued a response to the proposed legal action, welcoming the Kazak Governments attempts to sue Sasha Baron Cohen:
"I like to state I have no connection with Mr. Cohen and fully support my government's decision to sue this Jew.
"Since the 2003 reforms, Kazakhstan is as civilized as any other country in the world. Women can now travel on inside of bus, homosexuals no longer have to wear blue hats and age of consent has been raised to 8 years old.
"Please, I invite you to come to Kazakhstan, where we have incredible natural resources, hard-working labor and some of the cleanest prostitutes in all of central Asia. Goodbye."
On Monday, the Kazakhstan government, who don't appear to be seeing the funny side, published a four-page advertising section in The New York Times. The section, titled, "Kazakhstan in the 21st Century," carried testimonials to its oil production, its democracy, education system, and purported "power and influence" of women.
A feature length film, “Borat: The Movie,” is currently in production.
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