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Christmas Special - Labour Pains

Do not adjust your sets. For the third week running, the political polls are showing a Conservative lead over Labour.

The latest, an ICM for the Guardian, published today shows a one percentage point lead for Cameron over Blair increasing to a five percentage point lead should Glum Gord take over the reigns from Phoney Tony.


Image from ConservativeHome

PolicyBlender suggest that the legacy Blair has been looking for may be to sabotage Gordon's leadership hopes in order to save the Labour party from itself. It's looking increasingly likely that, one way or another, Gordon Brown will not be the next Prime Minster.

But who could take over? With all the talk now on a LibDem leadership change here's our Christmas Special run down on the "Anybody but Gordon" game currently being played at Number Ten.


1. Alistair Darling


We see Darling as pole position for the job. He's widely respected as a safe pair of hands, demonstrated by not making a complete hash of Transport like his predecessors, and he's been deliberately kept out of trouble for the last couple of years.

As MP for Edinburgh Central, he's a member of the "Scottish Raj", and would attract criticism concerning the West Lothian Question, but with Politicking skill that sees him as a key ally to both Brown and Blair, the eyebrowed one is well placed to do a Brutus come coronation day.

PolicyBlender verdict: Our money would be on Darling if we were betting types.


2. Hilary Benn




Cards on the table, we don't think Hilary's got a chance. But he's in the frame because he may be pushed through as an interim 'uniting PM'. He's in tune with the Blairite modernising agenda but he's got old school left wing pedigree that may keep him out of trouble with the more militant lefties who still respect his father.

PolicyBlender verdict: But putting it simply, Hilary is a nice bloke, but he's just not up to it.


3. David Miliband


David 'the Unready' is our second tip for the top job. He's the sharpest brain in the Cabinet by a country mile and worked in Blair's policy unit when he was leader of the opposition.

At only 40 with his first child born last summer, and being a thoroughly nice bloke, Miliband can combat Cameron on several fronts. He'd also be seen as a uniting factor as the son of an eminent Marxist historian and brother of Ed, the MP for Doncaster North and former special adviser to Gordon Brown.

PolicyBlender verdict: If Miliband isn't the next PM, he'll be the next Chancellor.

4. Patricia Hewitt


With a reputation for being a nasty piece of work and a background in spin Hewitt is New Labour through and through.

Entering Parliament in 1997 as one of the "Blair Babes", Hewitt had declined the opportunity to stand for a safe seat in 1992 to spend time with her young family. Now though, we think she's going to aim for the top.

PolicyBlender verdict: May find out how few friends she actually has if she makes a bid for the leadership.


5. David Blunkett


Controversial, blunt, humorous, and hard edged. Blunkett would represent a departure from the norm for modern Labour leaders.

The fact he's had more than the usual run of second chances, even for the court of Blair, indicates that a Blunkers bid may have covert backing from deep inside Number Ten.

If there's a dark horse in the running in the "Anybody but Brown" race, then it's the Sheffield Stallion. There's also no love lost between the former Home Secretary and Gordon Brown.

PolicyBlender verdict: Blood will be spilt if Blunkett decides he wants to go for it. Whether anybody's left standing at the end of it is another matter.


6. Peter Hain


In a front bench team currently stocked full of losers and weirdos, bar the above, Hain stands out purely for being the best of the bad bunch.

His one remarkable characteristic is his unbelievable huge ego. Hain's view of himself eclipses all rational critical assessments. It's rumoured that he honestly believes that he was shipped off to Northern Ireland in order to keep him out of the fray of domestic politics. He was, but not for the reason he thinks.

Having dug up a cricket pitch before a test match against South Africa and marched for a united Ireland alongside Gerry Adams and the rest of the IRA in his youth, Hain clearly has old school Labour kudos. What he doesn't have is a clue.

PolicyBlender verdict: Complete no hoper.


7. John Reid


Make no mistake, John Reid is a bastard. What will act in his favour is that Number Ten see him as "their bastard". Famously labelled "Labour's attack dog" by Paxman, his more proper title would be "Blair's attack dog".

The question is: can the henchman turn kingpin?

With his years in the Communist Party as a sop to the lefties in the party that might feel aggrieved with his affiliation with Blairism, A Reid bid could really pick up momentum if Labour decides that they don't want to try to out-Cameron Cameron.

PolicyBlender verdict: If Big John steps into the ring, the gloves will come off.


7. Sadiq Khan


Every list needs a wild card. Khan is ours. As part of the 2005 intake he may be considered to be too wet behind the ears, but that may work to his advantage. Though untainted by the Iraq war - he won Tooting on an anti war platform - he still exhibits strong-man authoritarian tendencies, supporting both the anti terror measures and ID cards.

The winner of the Spectator's prestigious 'Newcomer of the Year Award', Kahn has the best voting record in Parliament - attending 97% of all votes.

PolicyBlender verdict: One to watch, but perhaps not this time.


I loved the graph. It said '37%, 36%, 21%' and then it had about a foot between the red bar and the blue bar. You could tell it was from 'ConservativeHome'. Unless it was trying to demonstrate the expected number of MPs based on overall vote of the given percentage. Let's have more encouragement for PR!


They're all rather dull, aren't they? There must be someone interesting in the Labour Party, surely? Maybe we can persuade Boris to defect, and become Prime Minister?

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