Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Paisley Appointed to Mediation Helpline


Paisley: middle of the road kind of guy

Following the government's recent appointment of a Radical Islamist to a new taskforce designed to combat Islamic extremism, relationship charity Relate has today announced it has appointed Rev. Dr. Ian Paisley MP to their advisory panel.

A spokeswoman for the charity said "Dr. Paisley will bring a wealth of experience in mediating within relationships to our stakeholders, even though he is a man and so he must be a bastard. Men are bastards. Bastaaaards."

Mandelson's Bra Issues



Mandy: supporting boobies

Protectionism is back on the agenda in Europe. Many would argue it has never been off, as the EU uses its position as a trading bloc to stuff poorer countries outside its borders by levying trade on cheep goods produced with lower overheads - see: Africa.

But now chinks are appearing in the armour of European protection. The EU's rosy period is turning distinctly yellow. There's a nip in the air. It's all gone Wong.




China's aggressive external economic liberalism means that cheep goods are being exported all over the world, providing a massive boost to the Chinese economy. In turn, these goods are providing value for consumers the world over, lowering prices through competition and so helping the poor.

What's bad about this? Well, the EU is naturally defensive. Quotas have been put in place to try to limit the flow of goods into the EU, protecting EU manufacturers against competition from the Orient. What's good for European manufacturers isn't necessarily good for European consumers. In fact in the long run, Mandelson and Co.'s racketeering will have a detrimental effect on the competitiveness of European enterprise as businesses go the way of the French wine industry and disappear up their own protected arses.

Mandy's twisting and turning over this issue is hilarious. The original official line was that the quotas on Chinese imports were to protect European business. Then, with rumours of rationing abound given Beijing's fury at the EU protectionist stance, it was announced that the EU has a surplus of Chinese stock. Now, Mandy is issuing dire warnings that consumers may have to face price rises because of the trade surplus.

So we're got too much of the stuff so the price goes up? The normal rules of logic do not, of course, apply when you consider the EU.

Regression Therapy


Big Ken: Third time lucky?

Ken Clarke has become the first Tory to confirm his candidacy in the forthcoming leadership race. Front runners to stand against him are David Davis and David Cameron.

Clarke has many qualities that make him appealing to Tory voters and MPs - he smokes, drinks and obviously enjoys a good meal. Unfortunately, there are not enough Tory voters or MPs to form a government. Further, despite recent attempts to cool his position on Europe, Clarke's historic affection for Europeanism may reopen wounds that have in the past crippled the Conservative party.

For the Tories, Clarke may prove an excellent short-term proposition. His budgetary legacy as the last Conservative Chancellor gifted Gordon Brown with the longest economic honeymoon in political history. Clarke would seem best placed to highlight the squandering of this political inheritance if Brown is to be the next PM as expected.

But for the Conservative party to make real electoral gains, scoring quick political points over an opposite number is not going to be enough. The Tories need to re-assert what they stand for to the electorate. The Major years, the Third Way and the Blairite blandness of the last fifteen years has homogenised contemporary politics. Political communication now means spin and branding. Philosophical accountability has been replaced by marketing and PR.

If Clarke is to make sustainable gains for the Conservative party he must be clear about what it stands for to the electorate. He must make the case for liberty and individual freedom through lower taxes, public sector reform, less bureaucracy, a smaller state, free trade and all the other things that instinctively make sense to Tories but are lost in the bluff and bluster of modern political discourse.

However, for there even to be a chance of Clarke making the intellectual case for conservatism, he must first become Conservative leader. And is also true that any other candidate could make the Tories intellectual case equally well, once selected as leader. Thus, if Big Ken is engaged to lead the Conservatives it is unlikely that it will be for that purpose. It is also likely to be despite his views on Europe. And it is most likely to be because he is a reminder of Conservative glories past. If Clarke is chosen post-Howard, he will continue the Conservative Party's regression therapy. The opposition benches are proving to be a most addictive psychiatrist's couch.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

"You'll never get rid of us!"

This article (in the Mail again, I'm afraid) made me laugh. I didn't read past the headline, though.

Surely getting rid of a group whose main form of terror is suicide bombing is just a matter of patience? I mean, evil containing the seeds of its own undoing and all that...


Crack suicide squad - attack! That showed em, huh?!

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

The Bachelor of Baghdad

Flat Tax Update

Successful in Estonia

Mart Laar became prime minister of Estonia in 1992 with inflation at 1,000 percent, the economy shrinking by 30 percent a year, unemployment at 30 percent, and his people dependent on Russia for 92 percent of their trade.

With the introduction of a flat tax, privatisation and free trade Estonia now has stable growth of between 6 and 7 percent. Inflation at 2.5 percent, a balanced budget, low unemployment, and a very high level of investment.


On the table in Germany

Angela Merkel, widely expected to oust Gerhard Schroeder from the Reichstag in next month's German elections is reported by Tax-News.com to have appointed a flat tax advocate to her election campaign team. Paul Kirchof, professor of finance at the University of Heidelberg and a member of the Deutsche Bank's supervisory board, advocates replacing Germany's extensive system of taxpayer subsidies and replacing it with a flat rate of income tax charged at 25%.


On the table in Greece

The Greek government, led by Kostas Karamanlis, is actively considering a 25% flat rate of income tax to replace existing rates of 15%, 30% and 40%.


Censored in the UK

The Treasury recently released a paper that seemingly dismissed the idea of a flat tax. It later emerged that the government had censored the positive findings of the report. A Freedom of Information request revealed the true Treasury findings and has sparked renewed discussion in the UK media, transcending normal ideological divides with the normally left-wing Guardian today joining the fray with an article by Stephen Pollard of the right-wing think-tank the Centre for Policy Studies. Pollard writes:

The tax system is also ripe for reform. A flat tax would benefit both entrepreneurship and the poor… The biggest gains (12% of their income) would be for those on an income just below average. And the poorest third all benefit proportionately more than the richest third.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Friday, August 19, 2005

Mowlam Dead


Mowlam: dead

From half past eight this morning every news channel was eulogising Mo Mowlam. New Labour Minsters who had not so long ago been spreading vicious rumours about her ability to do her job since beating cancer - rumours that eventually forced her out of Government - where hastily bundled into studios to deliver insincere platitudes.

Their ambidextrous adoration of a woman whose popularity was born of her greatest political asset, her integrity, again shines the torchlight on the mendacious emotional leverage our masters apply over us. The cult of New Labour has created an emotional dictatorship where disingenuous grief association has an almost Orwellian control on the political climate.

Cook and Mowlam, primo amongst their New Labour brethren who will now claim political capital from their deaths, were seen outsiders in Government due to their unwillingness to play Blair's game. Blair, having sacked Cook from the Foreign Office for his insistence on thinking for himself (a characteristic his successor has never even hinted at) was enraged by being upstaged by Mowlam during a speech at the Labour Party conference. The Prime Minister had been blowing his own trumpet as a statesman and in boasting of progress in Ulster mentioned Mowlam: the mid-speech standing ovation for the MP who had recently voiced opposition to the Iraq war left Blair reportedly furious. The New Labour spin machine was kicked into gear and by the end of the week rumours that Mo was losing her marbles were rife in Westminster.

Cook, though, played the game once and was burnt by the ruthlessness of New Labour's spin. He was having an affair, news of which had reached the newspapers via his then diary secretary. Alistair Campbell was tipped to the story before it broke in a usual shady deal with the press. Campbell called Cook, who was in a car with his wife on their way to the airport for a family holiday and gave him an ultimatum to help spin the story - Cook leaves his wife and keeps his job; or keeps his wife and loses his job. Cook played the game. He dumped her in the departure lounge.

Cook's railroading and Mowlam's political demise at the hands of vindictive gossip should point us to the real legacy of these likable politicians: the undoing of the immoral and poisonous glue that binds the Blair administration together. The fact that their deaths, such as that of the former wife to the heir to the throne, should be spun to increase popularity by grief association shows how low this Government will go. The treatment of Cook and Mowlam whilst they were alive shows that Blair and his cohorts didn't care about these individuals when they were alive, the hypocrisy of the faux-grief they now show cannot disguise the soulless core of New Labour.

Blair leads tributes to Mo Mowlam

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Cameron: Clarke a 'Huge Figure'

Schoolboy japes abound this morning on the Today Programme, as David Cameron described his prospective opponent Ken Clarke as "a huge figure in the Conservative Party".

Clarke, hasn't made his mind up whether to stand or not yet, having previously stated that he would only stand if he thought he could win.


Clarke: Plan coming together?

Today's wisecrack from the youthful Cameron, made whilst he appeared to be hinting at a deal to make Clarke shadow chancellor in return for not opposing him, could change Clarke's attitude towards the contest.

Wisdom is that if Clarke stands, the contest will fracture into a two horse race - between Clarke on the left and the council estate/single mother action man David Davis on the right, reopening the old Europe divisions that have dogged the party for the past 15 years.

With this in mind will Clarke stand just to shaft the cheeky Old-Etonian? Or is young Cameron being particularly jovial because a deal has already been made with the cigar puffing BAT executive? As ever, we'll keep you posted.

Borrowers turn to fixed-rate mortgages

Data from the Council of Mortgage Lenders (CML) shows that 50% of all new home loans last month were fixed rate deals, up from 47% in June.

The popularity of fixed-rate mortgages with the Borrowers is welcomed by experts: "The housing market has started to stabilise at a new lower level," said CML director general Michael Coogan.


The Borrowers: now have a fixed-rate mortgage

The four-inch-tall Clock family secretly shared a house with the normal-sized Lender family, "borrowing" such items as thread, safety pins, batteries and scraps of food.

However, their peaceful co-existence was disturbed when evil lawyer Ocious P. Potter stole the will granting title to the house, which he planned to demolish in order to build luxury apartments.

The Lenders were forced to move, and the Clocks faced the risk of being exposed to the normal-sized world. But together with the help of the Lenders son, Pete, they managed to use their minute size to their advantage and are now the proud owners of a fixed-rate mortgage.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

EXCLUSIVE! Buerk responsible for proposed fertility laws

Michael Buerk's recent comments that "Men have been reduced to sperm donors" have, as usual, been grossly misinterpreted by the press. This article has quoted Buerk entirely out of context, and on several occasions, actually misquoted him. The new fertility laws being proposed by the government were actually drafted with the assistance of Buerk, who has long been of the belief that men should be reduced to sperm donors.


Men: only good for one thing

It is expected that, by 2020, most men will be enslaved by womankind, and used only for the occasional changing of lightbulbs and checking of oil levels in motor vehicles. A few men may be permitted to drive HGVs and repair computers.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Prescott and Brown's Death Tax proposal



Sir Michael Lyons, the Director of the Institute of Local Government Studies who has been charged by the Government to run an inquiry into local government finance, is considering a scheme that would allow pensioners to defer their council tax payments until they die, the BBC reports.

The proposal is in response to the unpopularity of council tax in many areas, particularly amongst the elderly. In areas where council tax is at its highest, collection rates are lowest, with the local authorities - who have responsibility for setting the rate - receiving handouts from the government to make up for the deficit.


Prescott: props up failing authorities

The deferment, which is in effect a Death Tax, amounts to nothing more than grave robbery by a government that has run out of money and ideas. Bereaved relatives already suffer the symbolic destruction of the estates of their loved ones, as 40% is ceded to state under Capital Gains Tax - literally money for nothing for the Chancellor. These deferment proposals merely continue the trend of government disincentives to save and hold capital under New Labour.

With pensions subject to an annual raid since 1999 that has now reached £5bn, Death Taxes, Capital Gains Tax, constant rises in National Insurance, the spread of MRSA, poor state provision for the elderly and the prospect of Cherie standing for parliament at the next election, there has never been a better time to die young and broke in Blair's Britain.

Clarke fined for not paying licence fee


Clarke: antennal

Charles Clarke has been fined by the BBC for not possessing a TV licence for his gargantuan ears.

A TV Licensing detector van detected a signal emanating from Clarke's huge ears and once databases were checked a fine was issued to the big-eared git.

Invoking images of Louis XVI, Big Ears Clarke indicated that he was unlikely to be paying the fine given his position of Home Secretary: "Le Beeb c'est moi".

The Slave Trade



Last night I watched an informative and entertaining documentary about a man trying to get financial reparations for the slave trade from the UK Government. This made me slightly confused. Admittedly, a lot of people did a lot of wrong, but can anyone alive today genuinely be held responsible for the actions of those people related to them (by family or by organisation) almost ten generations ago?

It had some valid points - on average black people earn less, have higher unemployment and are more likely to be imprisoned than their white counterparts. But, firstly, can this genuinely be related to what happened 200 years ago, or is it a matter of a difference in attitude in respective communities, or continued racism that is just racism, and that is largely unrelated to the slave trade?

Naturally with any argument on TV and not in an academic context, it chose the information it wanted and ignored that information it didn't want. It had to, it would have been terrible entertainment otherwise. But one slightly more credible thing it did highlight was that there was a monument to the animals who fought in the wars (with the writing 'They had no choice' on the side of it) but nothing in London to commemorate the 1 million people who were killed in the slave trade, and the further 4 million who were enslaved, who added something like (allowing for inflation) around £2.5 trillion to the British economy. I don't want to be taken in by Channel 4's pop politics, but surely there's something amiss there?

Monday, August 15, 2005

Grey Day


'Jonny Reggae'

Today we are honouring The Right Honourable John Major, Knight Companion of the Order of the Garter, Companion of Honour.

He's not dead.

One Bush joke too far… Rove nobbles our web-site

Chimpybushitler's eeevil mastermind has used his Zionist connections to cause havoc to our brave web-site. You will note that 'they' have made the menu options on the right hand side go down to the bottom of the page. Is there no limit to their depravity?

We were the lone voice of decent on the internet, in the printed media, on television or in documentary film-making. No-one else had dared to speak the truth for fear of Bush's Gestapo. But here, bravely, we pointed out that Bush looked a bit like a chimp.


Rove: Master of puppets

Alas, the dissent triggered alarms at the Whitehouse, where Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, Bolten, Melman, Blakeman, Libby, Neusner, Abrams, Weinberg, Feith, Chertoff, Kurtzer, Sobel, Bernstein, Brinker, Lavin, Weiser, Sembler, Silverstein, Gottesman and Miller all put their scheming Jewish heads together and plotted against our plucky little web-site.

Or it could be a technical error that we haven't quite got to the bottom of yet. Probably a Jewish programmer or something…

Friday, August 12, 2005

Legal Notice (amended)

We had a great post here from a bunch of bastards who wanted to charge us money for a hotlink. But sadly it was screwing up the rest of the site, so I had to remove it. Thanks for your comments and I'm sorry they were not retained. Apart from the ones about the Jews of course. The bastards in question were at http://www.thewe.cc. Check out their site, it's bloody weird.

We've got enough laws



Andrew Gilligan defends liberty in a recent Spectator article posted in comments

Cherie's kite flies high

Earlier in the week, we noted three kites the government has flown in order to get a feel for media reaction to potential policy decisions.

Two of these kites abruptly dropped to earth. One has, mysteriously, caught the wind.

It was leaked to the Daily Mirror that Bill Clinton is urging Cherie to stand as an MP when Tony steps down. This rumour has found legs. Today's Telegraph floats the possibility of Cherie taking over Tony's Sedgefield seat.


Cherie: let the pictures do the talking

Vacancy

Keith Vaz is looking for an assistant

You should be a self starter, able to work both in a team and on your own initiative. High motivation and an interest in politics are essential characteristics for this role. Previous experience of fraud and corruption is an advantage. Own passport would be desirable but arrangements can be made for the right candidate

Closes: 19th August 2005 at 6pm.

Contact: Please send your CV and a covering letter by the 19th August 2005 at 6pm to keith4leicester@btinternet.com

For further information please contact Ulrika Almen on 020 7219 4605.

Website: http://www.keithvazmp.com

The Friday Debate: 24 hour drinking

The Friday Debate: 24 hour drinking


Evil binge-drinkers

The Government plans to combat 'binge drinking' by allowing pubs, clubs and bars the option of staying open for twenty four hours if they want (subject to licence approval via the local authority).

Despite the obvious 'Government cracks down on drinking by encouraging it line', I think that this is a jolly good idea.

I agree that there will be problems converting to the continental-style café culture that the Government has promised will replace the current rush to get pissed before kicking-out time.

I also accept that the total amount of drinks consumed on an evening will probably rise, though not necessarily because the same people are simply drinking more.


Advanced binge drinkers: "thugs and beasts"

I don't accept that violent crime and sexual assault will necessarily rise as result of liberalisation, simply because the people who are converted into thugs and beasts by alcohol will remain to be converted, and the rest of us who are not converted to thugs or beasts by alcohol will remain unconverted. It's disgusting to assume that all of us are capable of such caddishness; we just have to drink the right amount.


Louts

So it would appear that this is an act of unprecedented liberty by the nanniest of nanny states that usually has the air of a dysfunctional Darlek - "regulate!, Regulate!, Regulate!"

Remember, this is a Government that labels us 'binge drinkers' if we have more than four pints whilst at the pub. Nous sommes tous noçons des buveurs!

I say, 'three cheers for the Government!'

Agreeing with Dubya

Yesterday, George W Bush said that it would not be wise for US troupes to pull out of Iraq, despite the fact that he sympathises with anti-war protesters.

I agree, it would leave a nasty mess behind them, and the implications of this don't really need expounding considering recent events in London.

I felt this was worth pointing out as I have had a tendency to disagree with Bush as a matter of principle, a little bit like Tony Hawks' policy of making decisions by considering what Norman Lamont would do, then doing the opposite. Needless to say I have a differing opinion on why it is that it would be unwise to pull out, and whether we chose a good time to go in or not, but he's right - we've made our bed, and we should lie in it at least until getting up won't get too many people killed.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Moderate Islam speaks out against extremists (and this time it's newsworthy!)

Why isn't Britain doing more to counter terrorism? Several people have commented that the moderate Muslim community needs to vocally side with us, and if they don't they are standing against us. The Saudi Ambassador to Britain had, it seems, spent 30 months of his life telling the British Government not to let extremists take over mosques and lead communities. And yet the most prominent publication I could find that were reporting this as news was The Australian, and even then it needed simultaneous comment by a Saudi prince before it became a story.

If we really want the Muslim community to help the rest of the country fight terrorism, we're going to have to listen to them, not ignore them when they are speaking to us and trying to help us, and then say 'Why aren't they helping us?'.

Uproar as Iran breaks UN nuclear seals

Iran has caused international uproar as it is set to defiantly break the remaining UN seals that are prohibiting a full nuclear programme.


UN Nuclear Seals: surprisingly effective

The UN has been using seals to ensure compliance with its lame and nugatory resolutions for many years. The deployment of cute-looking seals to guard certain facilities has been surprisingly successful. Past experiments with using 'trust' and 'making a bit of a fuss' have proved ineffective, particularly in the Middle East where the Israelis and Palestinians each treat the UNs multilateral flapping with equal contempt.

The Iranian move is not unique. International condemnation greets Canada's annual breaking of UN seals. The UN sends shoals of seals to Canada every year in an effort to enforce resolution 234(a)/12 that Canadians "shouldn't be so bloody annoyingly nice all the bloody time and should learn to say 'about' rather than 'aboot', the silly tossers."


Canadians: annoyingly nice all the time

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Hutton publishes results of Cook death inquiry

The findings in full are:

1. Robin Cook died of something fatal
2. He may or may not have been a Minister in the Blair Government
3. It is probable that there may be someone somewhere in the world that thinks Mr Blair might at some point have uttered something that in retrospect turns out to be not quite right.
4. Alistair Campbell is a jolly nice man who has never done anything wrong at all ever.

Prescott turns on the charm with Number 10 tour

Further proof that Prescott is kept as far away as possible from any actual responsibly whilst Blair is on holiday was revealed yesterday; as the DPM took a family on an impromptu tour of Number 10.


PR master: Prescott

The Patel family, of Harrow, north west London, were viewing the new war memorial outside of the MoD building on Whitehall when Mr Prescott approached.

"At first I thought he wanted money", said Mr Patel, who is an IT consultant; "but then I realised that he was only being friendly.

"We jumped at the chance to take the girls around with the Prescott, as we've never seen one in the wild before, only on the television.


Aggressive when confronted by hunters

Mr Patel is aware that Prescott's can be aggressive and anti-social, particularly when confronted by hunters.

"I know that they can be aggressive but I felt very safe the whole time, though I warned the girls not to provoke it by throwing eggs or talking posh."

The experience was ranked by the Patel's youngest daughter as "the best since the monkeys at London Zoo".

Iran continue Nuclear Power development

Iran are attempting to develop nuclear power. For a company with lots of surplus space, nuclear power can be a clean , cheap source of energy. If you've signed Kyoto, it can be a good way to reduce emissions. However, as we all know, good quality reactor grade plutonium can contain up to 75% Plutonium-239, which, if used at greater than 93% purity can be made into nuclear weapons. Anyone with a basic understanding of atomic physics can throw a nuclear weapon together, it's a matter of whacking a 50kg sphere together with a big hole in it, and making a suitable core to drop into it when detonation is required. As I'm sure any GCSE history students will remember, the Manhattan Project scientists dropped a core straight through a sphere as an experiment, and found the whole sphere had heated up by several degrees. If it had caught on something as it dropped, they would all have died.

Understandably, the rest of the world is concerned that Iran will be handling large amounts of material that may be used for uncontrolled chain reactions. However, as India and Pakistan already have nuclear weapons, I feel it might be a little unfair to withhold them from Iran. Mutually Assured Destruction, the so-called nuclear deterrent, only works if both parties have weapons, and Iran is currently exposed in an extremely volatile region. Perversely the only way to stabilise the region in terms of nuclear capability would be to remove it from all parties or to give it to all parties.

So, let's give Iran the bomb, to ensure their continued security as a nation. They'll never use it, neither will we, or the US or China or India or Pakistan or (probably) France.

Iran is a great place to visit and will be a great deal safer if it is allowed to develop atomic weapons.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Timetable set for IRA to hand over weapons

Entertainment news: UK Charts extremely boring

The conspiracy worked. Anyone who made it to Glastonbury this year will have remembered two things. One, it rained a little more than we'd have liked. Two, James Blunt's song was rammed down everyone's throat until they started to spew blandness.

Possibly as a result of hard work and shrewd marketing, and possibly as a result of the above, he's now topping both charts for a fourth successive week. Not only have we given the world Coldplay, whose every album continues to redefine the middle of the road, but now the middle-of-the-roadness seems to be escaping the music and infesting the careers of the artists.

What can we do to make popular music more interesting? Other than some sort of live show involving Britney, Christina, Jessica and a pride of rabid lions.

Government Flies Kites in Silly Season



You may have noticed that we at PolicyBlender have alluded to this Government's habit of trialing policy positions by leaking them to friendly journalists and then monitoring the subsequent media reaction.

This process is referred to as 'flying a kite', as the Government is trying to get a feel for which way the media wind is blowing - not the public mind you, that sort of thing is sooooo last millennium darling.

The 'kite-flying' method has been used by New Labour for years, however it has only recently become the favourite method of deciding what their principles are on a certain subject - replacing the trusted 'focus group'.

Whilst focus grouping has been a proven and successful method of determining what the opinion of certain demographic groups are; it has been less successful in gauging the media reaction to a policy. The media, in particular the print media, are notoriously difficult to predict; but they do have a tendency to stick to early editorial lines. Thus, if a 'kite' catches a favourable wind, it is likely to become policy. If it falls back down to earth, then it is swiftly and unceremoniously dumped.

Departments have little say in the policies that are flown - the leaks all centre around Downing St. If the kite's flight is successful, then the Ministers and Special Advisors at the relevant departments are instructed to develop and implement the policy, sometimes in a matter of hours. Officials are rarely consulted until an official announcement has been made.

This centralisation of policy, rule by media and complete by-pass of the relevant policy experts has become the new definition of the Bliarite presidential style. It is short term, defensive and dangerously cynical. It represents the ideological emptiness of those who govern us and their ruthless thirst for retaining power: even if the cost is to the health of democracy and the country.

Here are some examples of today's kites:



Special Report: Kelly Dead; Cook Dead; Mowlam Critical; Gilligan or Short Next?

By our Special Conspiracy Theory Correspondent: Oscar Fahrenheit



Cook: crossed Blair now he's dead

A post-mortem of Robin Cook is to be carried out today following his death at the weekend amidst circumstances that could be described as suspicious. The former Foreign Secretary who opposed the Iraq war found himself at odds with the Blair government.


Kelly: also irritated Blair and he's dead too.

Cook is believed to have died whist out walking in the Scottish Highlands. Some reports are suggesting that the respected parliamentarian suffered a broken neck, possibly the result of a fall following a heart attack.


Gilligan: on the list?

The Police have not commented on reports that security has been stepped-up around former BBC journalist Andrew Gilligan. Gilligan threw the Government into turmoil by exposing that Blair knowingly misled the country over the reasons for going to war with Iraq. His source, the Government weapons scientist Dr David Kelly was found dead in suspicious circumstances whilst apparently walking near his home in Oxfordshire. Dr Kelly had previously told a UK diplomat that he would probably be "found dead in the woods" if the UK invaded Iraq.


Mowlam: critical condition.

Meanwhile, there is said to be no change in the condition of Mo Mowlam, the controversial former Labour Minister who opposed Blair's stance on Iraq who famously said that "[it has become] harder and harder to defend what the Labour Government is doing". Mowlam publicly supported Clare Short's resignation from the Government over the Iraq war.


Short: in danger?

Security has reportedly been stepped-up around Greg Dyke's padded cell.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Legalise Drugs

And tax them.

Drug addicts don't care whether drugs are illegal or not, they take them regardless of the law. Unless we make another law up to say that ignoring the other law about drugs being illegal is also illegal and that stops them, I think the best course of action is a good dose of treatment for addicts, just as alcoholics get treatment.

If we legalise and regulate drugs in a similar way that we do for alcohol and tobacco then we could spend some of the huge additional revenue on sorting people with problems out.

This just in from Italy.

It's Friday, discussion is obviously welcomed, though those that take drugs and argue against liberalisation do run the risk of being a hypocrite.

Not wanting to continually slate George Bush...

...but this morning I heard a speech in which he said Al Qaeda "didn't appreciate women" (though it's a few paragraphs down, so you may have to hunt for it).

George may not have noticed, but Al Qaeda aren't really focused on their misogynistic aims as much as their killing people aims. As far as I'm aware, Al Qaeda have the same appreciation for Islamic women as many other non-murdering branches of Islam, and the same contempt for western women as for western men. The remark about not appreciating women is only going to serve to push the moderate Islamic community (and I'm not arguing about the concept of moderate Islam again, so don't even start) further from the rest of the American public, and further towards support of the terrorists.

George Bush is a liability. Much like John Prescott or Boris Johnson, he's lacking in any kind of wit, self-censorship or consideration whenever he is left to speak without an exact script. This is not to say the man is stupid, he really isn't or he'd never have become president. But he only seems to be clever when left in a room on his own for a while beforehand. Unfortunately, he's in charge, so there's little hope he could be quietly forgotten about in a reshuffle.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Korea Clones Dog in World First

McDonalds restaurants in Korea are offering a 'buy one - get one free' deal on Big Macs and McChicken Sandwiches. The move comes as Korean scientists today announced that they had successfully cloned a dog.


McDonalds Korea: clone?

How can this man possibly disagree with evolution?


Bush (left) presumably owns a mirror.

Galloway praises Iraq 'Martyrs'

Gorgeous George has been quiet for so long he's exploded in what, even for him, is quite remarkable style.

The state broadcaster reports the story:

Galloway also told Syrian Television: "Two of your beautiful daughters are in the hands of foreigners - Jerusalem and Baghdad.

"The foreigners are doing to your daughters as they will.

"The daughters are crying for help and the Arab world is silent. And some of them are collaborating with the rape of these two beautiful Arab daughters."


Galloway (right): unique

Government Back-peddles on ID Cards

The great ID card retreat was sounded today. Tony McNulty is the Home Office Minister thrust into the limelight to sound the retreat bugle because Big Ears is lauding it up in Tuscany and Hazel "I'm the Boss" Blears has a catastrophic effect on good news, let alone bad. Blears was proudly off-message yesterday: having declared that she is running the Home Office in the absence of Big Ears; she then decreed that stop-and-searches conducted by the police should be to an equal number of each ethnic background. This came almost simultaneously with an announcement from the British Transport Police saying that they are using racial profiling in their stop and searches as young Asian men are more likely to be suicide bombers. Blears is currently Minister for Policing.


Big Ears: On holiday

But to the retreat. Why the sudden about-turn? Could it be that the Government scoped the idea a long time ago and decided it was a non-starter? Remember the confusion over the cost? First it was free, then around £70, then £100 or so, and last month it was reported to be up to £300, before Big Ears intervened and said that it really wouldn't be as much as all that. Then there was when: 'the end of the year', 'three years', and 'by 2010' were mentioned. And then there was what it would actually do - 'combat terrorism', 'fight identity crime', 'reduce bogus asylum seekers': all bollocks, as we know. So that's the three corners of the project management triangle that have been bungled by the government: time; cost and quality.

If it had ever got off the ground, it wouldn't have been the first government project to be a hopeless and expensive flop. In June the Prime Minister actually apologised to parliament that Gordon Brown's Treasury had made such an awful cock-up of the administration of Tax Credits. The Child Support Agency saga ended with a similar tail-between-legs scenario in parliament. Individual Learning Accounts were an embarrassing failure. The privatisation of the National Air Traffic Control System (NATCS) clearly took lessons from the Major government's privatisation of the railways. The Passport Agency is in chaos - surely a good reason in itself no to go ahead with ID cards, given that UKPS was heavily involved in the biometric trials. The National Audit Office seems to publish a monthly criticism of the MoD's Defence Procurement Programme. The paperwork for the Tube PPP cost £500m alone - paperwork! And no one is allowed to mention the NHS's new computer system which seemed steep at £1.6bn, but has risen to £6.8bn thus far… So was there ever a point to the ID Cards proposals then, you may ask?


Howard: Opportunistic

Well, yes. You may remember a particularly unspectacular election, a few months ago. With the government unpopular and paranoid, Downing Street needed an easy win. ID cards were a simple bear trap, a product of focus grouping: hype up the illiberal proposals to be the cure to crime and disorder and see which way the opposition falls and then pounce. The Tories wriggled and squirmed, uncomfortable with the statism of the concept but unwilling to give up the macho 'tough on crime' thing they had going. Howard eventually caved, and wrote an apologetic article in the right wing editorially-liberal Telegraph claiming to be the defender of liberty but these are difficult times etc… So the trap worked: faced with the choice of being either soft on crime or opportunistic, the Tories chose opportunistic. And that was the purpose of the ID card scheme - and in it's own terms it's been a roaring success.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Hoon does up shoes unaided

In an exclusive breaking story, PolicyBlender can reveal that Geoff Hoon has managed to put on and do up his own shoes in up to 45 minutes.

Mr Hoon said "Umm Qasr is a town similar to Southampton"


'Buff' Hoon

Sources close to the former Defence Secretary claim that now he has mastered Velcro, Mr Hoon will be taking on laces with the aid of a dossier downloaded from the internet by Alistair Campbell.

Mr Hoon likes looking for WMD and badgers

Bush promotes 'intelligent design'

Here is a quick summary of the ideas of evolution.

1) Traits are passed from generation to generation
2) Being alive is considered a success
3) The more organisms with one trait that are alive, the more successful the trait
4) Organisms that have more babies, faster, and that have babies more likely to survive are sucessful.
5) Council estate teenage mums are a Darwinian success.

An even briefer summary is this: If something stays alive and breeds, its children will stay alive and breed and there will be lots of them. To further summarise, having assumed point 2 above: Whatever succeeds is a success. And hings sometimes have baby things.

Darwinian evolution isn't a theory, it's common sense. It's the simple effects of what having offspring does for a whole species. If DNA exists, then evolution happens.

President Bush wishes for alternatives to this idea to be taught in American schools. Presumably he also wishes for the date 4004BC to be given recognition as the date of creation. All of a sudden I'm reminded of Bill Hicks' remarks about the dangers of having a creationist with his finger on the nuclear button:

[Eyes roll back in head]

"Tell me when Lord, tell me when. Let me be your servant Lord."


It's entirely unfair that America has a reputation for ignorance, as Beo quite rightly pointed out in one of our comment sections. However, President Bush could well be the man to change that.

Air crash in Toronto

Further to yesterday's post - Canada, the country with the second largest oil reserves in the world, has just played host to a plane crash. It's almost too coincidental, don't you think?

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Bomb at British Airways office, Tehran

I'm sure I'm not the first person to suggest such a ludicrous tihng, but are the Islamic Extremists working with America? Where did this dispute come from with Iran? All of a sudden there are bombs going off there, so we must want to go to war with them. But who gains from us going to war? The extremists get more support, the US gets more oil.

I think my head is too small to fit the world in it. I can't cope with this incident being anything more than a mindless attempt to kill without deciding everyone in the world is greedy, despicable and willing to kill to achieve what are, in the end, rather short-sighted goals. Maybe I need a holiday.

Monday, August 01, 2005

A New Era for Diplomacy

Diplomacy, formerly the art of getting your own way though subtlety and understanding has latterly bastardised into a language of forked tongue, characterised by lies, deceptions, false promises and flattery of some of the most unsavoury characters around.

With the approval of John Bolton to be the US's ambassador to the UN, we can assume that diplomacy is about to get a whole lot less diplomatic, and that can only be a good thing, as something might get done on a global level.

Bolton's appointment is no small controversy, with baggage such as this behind him:

-The U.N.? ''There is no such thing as the United Nations.''

- Reform of the Security Council? ''If I were redoing the Security Council, I'd have one permanent member: the United States.''

- International law? "It is a big mistake for us to grant any validity to international law."

- Offering incentives to rogue states? "I don't do carrots."

Now perhaps our international bureaucrats might actually talk about issues that matter in a frank and meaningful way with a view to actually doing something instead of engaging in mutual tutting and issuing bland statements expressing "concern".

I'm not against having a UN as such, but if we do have one, I want it to do something rather than just talk about doing something. It makes me angry that something that proclaims to be so good does so little for so many. The successive failures of the UN, not least the inaction over the Darfur genocide (having declared in December 04 that "Genocide anywhere is a threat to the security of all and should never be tolerated" the UN commissioned a report in January 05 stating that the 70,000 corpses, all of the same ethnic origin, littering Darfur did not represent a genocide, so the UN were right not to intervene) to separate multilateral idealism from practical action have gone on long enough.

If any administrative body needed shaking up, it's the UN. And Bolton will certainly shake 'em up.

Thanks to Steyn for the Bolton quotes

Kilroy Quits as Veritas Chief

Robert Kilroy Silk, Veritas Leader, and his lieutenant, Damian Hockney, Deputy Leader of Veritas and Leader of the Veritas-UKIP group at the London Assembly, have stood down from the party's leadership.

A full press release, complete with Jan Kilroy-Silk's mobile telephone number can be found here.

In a statement to the Guardian newspaper, Kilroy said "I warned you about the Arabs, you bastards"


In the interests of the British people…