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Special Report: Kelly Dead; Cook Dead; Mowlam Critical; Gilligan or Short Next?

By our Special Conspiracy Theory Correspondent: Oscar Fahrenheit



Cook: crossed Blair now he's dead

A post-mortem of Robin Cook is to be carried out today following his death at the weekend amidst circumstances that could be described as suspicious. The former Foreign Secretary who opposed the Iraq war found himself at odds with the Blair government.


Kelly: also irritated Blair and he's dead too.

Cook is believed to have died whist out walking in the Scottish Highlands. Some reports are suggesting that the respected parliamentarian suffered a broken neck, possibly the result of a fall following a heart attack.


Gilligan: on the list?

The Police have not commented on reports that security has been stepped-up around former BBC journalist Andrew Gilligan. Gilligan threw the Government into turmoil by exposing that Blair knowingly misled the country over the reasons for going to war with Iraq. His source, the Government weapons scientist Dr David Kelly was found dead in suspicious circumstances whilst apparently walking near his home in Oxfordshire. Dr Kelly had previously told a UK diplomat that he would probably be "found dead in the woods" if the UK invaded Iraq.


Mowlam: critical condition.

Meanwhile, there is said to be no change in the condition of Mo Mowlam, the controversial former Labour Minister who opposed Blair's stance on Iraq who famously said that "[it has become] harder and harder to defend what the Labour Government is doing". Mowlam publicly supported Clare Short's resignation from the Government over the Iraq war.


Short: in danger?

Security has reportedly been stepped-up around Greg Dyke's padded cell.