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Hoon does up shoes unaided

In an exclusive breaking story, PolicyBlender can reveal that Geoff Hoon has managed to put on and do up his own shoes in up to 45 minutes.

Mr Hoon said "Umm Qasr is a town similar to Southampton"


'Buff' Hoon

Sources close to the former Defence Secretary claim that now he has mastered Velcro, Mr Hoon will be taking on laces with the aid of a dossier downloaded from the internet by Alistair Campbell.

Mr Hoon likes looking for WMD and badgers