« Home | "You'll never get rid of us!" » | The Bachelor of Baghdad » | Flat Tax Update » | » | Mowlam Dead » | Cameron: Clarke a 'Huge Figure' » | Borrowers turn to fixed-rate mortgages » | EXCLUSIVE! Buerk responsible for proposed fertilit... » | Prescott and Brown's Death Tax proposal » | Clarke fined for not paying licence fee »

Regression Therapy


Big Ken: Third time lucky?

Ken Clarke has become the first Tory to confirm his candidacy in the forthcoming leadership race. Front runners to stand against him are David Davis and David Cameron.

Clarke has many qualities that make him appealing to Tory voters and MPs - he smokes, drinks and obviously enjoys a good meal. Unfortunately, there are not enough Tory voters or MPs to form a government. Further, despite recent attempts to cool his position on Europe, Clarke's historic affection for Europeanism may reopen wounds that have in the past crippled the Conservative party.

For the Tories, Clarke may prove an excellent short-term proposition. His budgetary legacy as the last Conservative Chancellor gifted Gordon Brown with the longest economic honeymoon in political history. Clarke would seem best placed to highlight the squandering of this political inheritance if Brown is to be the next PM as expected.

But for the Conservative party to make real electoral gains, scoring quick political points over an opposite number is not going to be enough. The Tories need to re-assert what they stand for to the electorate. The Major years, the Third Way and the Blairite blandness of the last fifteen years has homogenised contemporary politics. Political communication now means spin and branding. Philosophical accountability has been replaced by marketing and PR.

If Clarke is to make sustainable gains for the Conservative party he must be clear about what it stands for to the electorate. He must make the case for liberty and individual freedom through lower taxes, public sector reform, less bureaucracy, a smaller state, free trade and all the other things that instinctively make sense to Tories but are lost in the bluff and bluster of modern political discourse.

However, for there even to be a chance of Clarke making the intellectual case for conservatism, he must first become Conservative leader. And is also true that any other candidate could make the Tories intellectual case equally well, once selected as leader. Thus, if Big Ken is engaged to lead the Conservatives it is unlikely that it will be for that purpose. It is also likely to be despite his views on Europe. And it is most likely to be because he is a reminder of Conservative glories past. If Clarke is chosen post-Howard, he will continue the Conservative Party's regression therapy. The opposition benches are proving to be a most addictive psychiatrist's couch.


Following an earlier post about Ken being a bit on the chubby side, last night's news coverage included remarks about him being a 'substantial' Tory, a 'big' figure in the party, and, in every way but directly a 'fat' bastard. Expect more jokes about fat people soon.

In music news, the Magic Numbers continue to be hailed as a fat band - with little mention of their musical stylings.

Other fat people include Charles Clarke, Anna Nicole Smith, and Santa Claus. All of these people have a good chance of leading the Tory Party to victory in the next election.

John Goodman, however, is widely believed to be a communist.

Post a Comment