The Policy Blender

Anti-Congestion Charge militants?

Exactly! It can't have been a coincidence that it was just 4 days after the rise to £8, and Ken suspended the C charge on Friday, so they got what they wanted.

Also, the sinister possibility that the sinister Alistair Campbell engineered the bombs as part of a sinister plan to deflect attention away from the Lions' poor performance in New Zealand... sinister bastard...

Or, they were planted by fundamentalist tube drivers, who believe that any non-tube drivers are evil, and that they themselves deserve £40,000pa minimum. By damaging the system, they demonstrate the money that TFL will have to spend on repairs, if salaries aren't increased?

But, if it was an Islamic group, they got their way at the British Grand Prix. There was no champagne on the podium yesterday because of the bombings.

by crikey - racing drivers not on the bubbly?!

it's the end of the world as we know it!

But you don't understand - racing drivers eschewing alcohol is just the first step. As trend leaders, and public figures, many Formula One fans will follow suit. Fosters advertising contract with F1 will collapse, followed by both F1 itself and the Fosters Brewery. With Fosters suddenly out of the market, the other cheap nasty lager breweries will all increase production and advertising in an attempt to cash in on Fosters loss - but it won't work for all of them. Most will find the extra production and investment is in vain, and the losses will cripple the companies. Most of the rest of the alcohol industry is connected to these breweries, and with their sister companies gone, alcohol will be a thing of the past. The french will stop talking to each other, the British will stop sleeping with each other, the Germans will just stop. The Americans, who need to be 21 before they can drink, will be the only unaffected economy, with Budweiser barely qualifying as beer anyway. With no international trade partners, the US will follow the rest of the world into a huge depression (and you thought alcohol was a depressant, imagine the alternatives!) and only the already-dry Middle East will thrive. I'm sure I don't need to tell you where it goes from there.

It's the thin end of the wedge, I tell you!

I see now - of course our Government has known about this the whole time and narrowly averted a previous Arab attempt to infiltrate the Royal family in Paris in September 1997…

I thought Diana was killed by aliens?

mmm... Prince Philip and the Aliens: a prog rock group.