'New' Lions to Tour NZ
The Lions draw with a second string Argentina side last night was a 'great victory' according to a media spokesperson for the tour party.
The 'New Lions', under the command of the dynamic duo of Tony Woodward and Gordon McGeechan, will introduce a dynamic and joined-up approach to the 15 man game.
The backs will not use zonal or drift defence, but instead be defending 'the third way' which is believed to involve 19 stone prop John Hayes covering at inside centre, outside centre and wing all at the same time.
By rationalising resources in this way many backs are freed up to try to win back ball lost by Shane Williams who dances away from support like a sugarplum fairy and then isn't big enough to retain the ball when he runs out of sidesteps.
New Lions: New Media Manager
In order to win in New Zealand, the new media manager for the 'New Lions' is said to have planned several changes from the traditional set-up. The new kit is to be announced before the party boards the plane today. Out goes the traditional red shirts, which are seen as 'regressive and unelectable', the team will play in noir shorts, deep charcoal socks and dark 'nero' shirts. They will perform a ceremonial dance before the game known as a 'Hacker' and have negotiated the use of the home changing rooms at each venue.
An unnamed source within the Lions' party, known only by the shadowy pseudonym "Alistair fucking Campbell" is said to have no comment on the rumours that New Zealand Captain Tana Umaga and pack leader Richie McCaw like to dress up as girls and kiss each other that he started earlier.
The 'New Lions', under the command of the dynamic duo of Tony Woodward and Gordon McGeechan, will introduce a dynamic and joined-up approach to the 15 man game.
The backs will not use zonal or drift defence, but instead be defending 'the third way' which is believed to involve 19 stone prop John Hayes covering at inside centre, outside centre and wing all at the same time.
By rationalising resources in this way many backs are freed up to try to win back ball lost by Shane Williams who dances away from support like a sugarplum fairy and then isn't big enough to retain the ball when he runs out of sidesteps.
New Lions: New Media Manager
In order to win in New Zealand, the new media manager for the 'New Lions' is said to have planned several changes from the traditional set-up. The new kit is to be announced before the party boards the plane today. Out goes the traditional red shirts, which are seen as 'regressive and unelectable', the team will play in noir shorts, deep charcoal socks and dark 'nero' shirts. They will perform a ceremonial dance before the game known as a 'Hacker' and have negotiated the use of the home changing rooms at each venue.
An unnamed source within the Lions' party, known only by the shadowy pseudonym "Alistair fucking Campbell" is said to have no comment on the rumours that New Zealand Captain Tana Umaga and pack leader Richie McCaw like to dress up as girls and kiss each other that he started earlier.
