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Re-Shuffle - the Nightmare Continues

The DTI, re-branded last Friday as the Department for Productivity, Energy and Industry (DPEI) is to be re-branded once more.

The Department will now be known as the Department for Undermining Markets, By Adept State Subsidies (DUMBASS).


New Logo

The new Minster in charge of the department - or Chief Dumbass, as he is now known - Alan Johnson, persuaded Blair to make the change demonstrating his absolute power over the re-branded department by stating that "A man with a screwdriver" will replace the sign outside the department's HQ.

DPEI had prompted "various descriptions [including] penis and dippy", he said. On the whole it was thought that DUMBASS was more apt.

The Original re-branding (from DTI to DPEI) had all the hallmarks of a classic Blair re-shuffle - an attempt to do something, an argument about it, a u-turn followed by a last minute and costly name change for a department. Civil Servants at the Department for Constitutional Affairs still cringe when they are reminded of their name change in 2003.

A Blair spokesperson said last week that branding the department DPEI "was part of efforts to ensure the department was "refocused and reinvigorated playing a greater role on productivity". Clearly that was bollocks, but they seem to have it right now.


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