The Policy Blender

How does someone get into the House of Lords?
A) By outstanding achievement and merit
B) If a deadbeat MP vacates his seat for a promising newcomer
C) By giving £100,000 to the Labour Party

If a burglar invades your home, what should you do?
A) Dial 999 and wait a long time for the police
B) Dial 999 to receive counselling
C) Resist, be imprisoned, and be sued by the burglar

Which of these officials are not paid from public funds?
A) Real nappy officers
B) Walking officers
C) Automobile rescue and repair officers

Was the TV programme Yes Minister...?
A) Situation comedy
B) Documentary
C) Stark social realism

What is the Queen's official role?
A) Living as long as possible to keep out Prince Charles
B) Opening flower shows and watching horses
C) Signing away our rights to habeas corpus, jury trial, etc

What sorts of people are detained under the Terrorism Act?
A) Terrorists
B) People who walk on a cycle path
C) Anyone who heckles government ministers

Which carries the longest prison sentence?
A) Smoking in a pub or restaurant
B) Giving your child a smack for being naughty
C) Telling jokes about the Archbishop of Canterbury

Are A-level exams getting...?
A) Easier
B) Ridiculously easier
C) Ridiculous

Which religions is the BBC allowed to mock and ridicule?
A) Christianity
B) Islamic fanaticism
C) New age mumbo-jumbo

If you are assaulted outside a night-club, should you...?
A) Change to smarter clothes and try again to be admitted
B) Ask the police to desist
C) Take a photo of Prince Harry to sell to the newspapers