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Howard Attacks Blair on Ballot Fairness

This year's large increase in postal votes has sparked accusations of potential fraud from the Tories and the LibDems.

Michael Howard said Labour should be "deeply ashamed" of failing to tackle postal vote fraud.

The Tory leader pointed out that a judge in a court case over electoral fraud had dismissed the British voting system as like that of a "banana republic".

The problem has been compounded by the fact that the Tories and LibDems have claimed that Mr Blair already has an unfair advantage by recruiting God to his Election team.


Blair: Direct line to God

God will work alongside Alan Milburn, Alistair Campbell and Peter Mandleson. Peter Mandelson was unavailable for comment when questioned about potential conflicts over the new appointment. His aides said that he was very busy sucking up souls and casting plague famine and pestilence on the world's sinners.

God is understood to be playing a backroom role and is in constant contact with Tony Blair, leaving the frontline duties to Blair's hatchet man Dr John Reid.


Reid: Avenging Angel