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New Hope for EUtopia Project

Despite the French, the main European cheerleaders, voting 'Non' to the EU Constitution in a referendum last week a leading political barometer in the UK has indicated that the result could not be disastrous.

Neil Kinnock, who is widely respected for saying exactly the opposite of what is obviously going to happen, told the BBC today that there was "no doubt at all" that the Constitution is now dead.

This move has surprised experts, who had previously considered the Constitution to be pushing up the bureaucratic daisies, however the Kinnock Rule has never been wrong before, so Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac are expected to press ahead with their "cleaning up exercise" to federalise Europe in secret, despite the 'no' vote from the French, and expected 'no' vote from the Dutch.

Rumours of an Irish government style re-referendum until the desired result is achieved are rife, with the French government hinting at disenfranchising "dangerous anti-constitution extremists" for the sake of European democracy.

It is not likely that Mr Blair will hold a referendum in the UK, as it is now blindingly obvious that he'd lose. With that in mind, Gordon Brown is rumoured to have reminded the Prime Minister that: "There's not much point you being here, then. Fuck off and give me a go."

Neil Kinnock has tipped Manchester United to win the FA cup.